what makes me smile.

i hate cheap conversation.
all i get is cheap conversation.
i need something intensely intellectual.

at this point, i might settle for vaguely interesting.

please, i’m begging you, say something that matters!
or else don’t ever speak again.

i have never unduly romanticized how glamorous a relationship will be. perhaps i have no faith in my ability to be vulnerable and to love someone equally as much as they love me. i have always dreaded the day i say yes to someone; in my mind, that day is ominous and shrouded in uncertainty.

i do this thing where in the right moment i cant think of any words and then after i leave the moment, roughly a day later the words spring into my head like they’ve got no where else to be until the exact moment when i realize i could use them again & *poof*

sunsets are my coping mechanisms.

sunsets are my coping mechanisms.

that time i accidentally threw a lime at my coworkers skull.

if i like you, chances are i won’t be at all charming, because i will think you are too interesting to possibly be interested in me. most likely i’ll just be cooly in-personable, quiet, and indirect with you. essentially things quite opposite of the way i usually am.

let’s just say, if i am acting like a freak, i probably like you… a lot.

if i were the sun, i’d go down on that horizon too.

if i were the sun, i’d go down on that horizon too.

i am depressed and i want to be destructive
these are the days i would make out with a stranger and then get lost in the woods

i am so damn sick of being told that i’m amazing. because if you knew me very well, you wouldn’t tell me that all the time. its upsetting that no one knows me very well. and that i’m always on the brink of a mental disaster because of never following through on my thoughts. there are too many things to think about and make opinions of and not enough time for serious thought.

Feelings make me so sick.